Son of a Drug Dealer

When I was a teenager, I had a really tough time in school, so I ended up giving up and dropped out at the age of 16. My mom had no money for clothes, food, or anything. I started selling drugs when I was 14 years old. I sold drugs to survive and put clothes on my body.

At 17, my mom kicked me out of the house—10:30 at night, and in the middle of January. I left out the back door with two garbage bags full of clothes. It was cold that night, below zero, and I had nowhere to go. I snuck into my little tree house, lit a candle, and used it to keep me warm. I got no sleep that night.

My stepfather and I did not get along. He would grab me by the neck and slap my face. My mom would do nothing. That night, she kicked me out because he told her that it was either gonna be him or me to leave.

The next day, I walked off with my bags of clothes. I would sell weed all day, then when it would start getting cold I would walk with my bags of clothes wondering where I would sleep. My real father wasn’t around. He sold cocaine, and taught me how to sell drugs.

I would smoke between one and four ounces of weed, and drink at least a fifth of liquor every day. The last 14 years of my life consisted of making money by selling drugs, sleeping with women, and being selfish and mean to people. Because of the rejection I felt from my parents and family, I tried to escape by getting high and drunk.

I had a sense of attention when I sold drugs and everyone wanted to hang out with me. I had money. I would make 5-10 thousand dollars a week, and spend 80% of everything I made partying. This is not to brag about how I lived, or to have people feel sorry for me, this is my testimony.

I had it rough with nowhere to go. I sold drugs, watched my friend go to prison, and I’ve had friends get killed. I’ve had to watch guys that I grew up with as kids lying in a casket at young ages—one at 24 with three kids, another at 24 with a kid, one at 23 left behind his newborn son, and others.

I now have my life on track. I blame no one but myself for the decisions I’ve made. Before, I was trying to get things done the way I wanted, in my timing, then I realized I can’t do that. I have been reading my Bible an hour a day. I found a good Scripture in Ecclesiastes 3. Verse 17 declares that there is a time appointed for every matter, every purpose, and every work. In other words, God has an appointed time in which to do everything he has planned.

I asked myself, “Was I submitting to God’s timing, or was I growing impatient, trying to do things in my own timing?” I decided to repent, and made a fresh surrender to God’s perfect timing for everything that he wanted to do in my life. I dedicated my life to God, and I want to share my story and minister to young adults and teens.

Since I struggled in school, I asked God to help me get a GED. Within two weeks, I was ready to take the test and scored the highest in my class, making me Valedictorian.

I started spreading my light to the darkness here. I’ve talked to other inmates and talked them out of going back to their old ways. I’ve been pouring my heart out to people about God. My mom is now in the Word again, and so is my stepdad. They’ve also been going to church every Sunday. My cousin is also incarcerated, and I started talking to him as much as I can about God.

I’m a new man! The little things that I used to take for granted are things that I now treasure. I used to not open up to anyone or trust people, now I’m working on that, and my other flaws. I also used to depend only on myself, and now I realize that I can’t do anything without God. I need him!

I’ve realized my flaws, and I take one step at a time to better myself. I could go on forever about my past and how I’ve changed. If you have God, anything is possible!

From,
Nick — Originally published in September 2009