Living for My Own Selfish Pleasures

My Christian walk did not really begin until I came to prison. Eight years ago, I was trapped in the town of Me-ville; that is, I was living for my own selfish pleasures—whatever I wanted in the moment. These pleasures caused me to commit a crime which tore apart my family and sent me to prison.

I did not really have Christ formed in me while I was going to church with my family, singing songs I did not believe in to a God I did not worship, because I was too busy worshiping myself. My new life began in a holding cell in the Lapeer County Jail.

My marriage had ended two years before this when my wife and children walked out of my everyday life and became merely weekend acquaintances. At the point of no return, the rest of my life began to fall apart in that jail cell.

With no job, no home, no family, no friends, I had lost everything in my world. There, broken, I finally gave my life to Christ and was born again. It has been a long, pain-filled process of learning about this new life in Christ.

In Jesus’ mercy, I became accepted, and this would not have happened if the Lord had not sent a pastor to visit the jail, and to bring Bibles and studies to give out. This was the first time in my life that I had taken the word of God seriously. It took me six years of studying God’s word to get to the point where I could hear his voice.

In Central Michigan Facility, I came to the Alpha Ministries group and have now been a discipler with Alpha for at least a year. I’ve had the pleasure of watching 3 students also become disciples, with a current student still working on the materials. God has grown our group from 11 to over 35 in that time.

Having said that, I have felt the call to ministry myself. Now, I am very short of time in my prison life, yet my calling has not ceased (NOTE: Doug has been accepted as an Alpha House resident beginning December 2018). I await ever new opportunities to serve Christ. That is where my walk stands today, in the service of Christ, my fellow men in the prison yard, and in the prison church.

My two favorite books in the Bible are Psalms, because they really lay out the human experience, and Matthew, for his no nonsense approach to who Christ is and the essential doctrine for how we are to conduct ourselves in Christ Jesus. My favorite authors are Matthew, Luke, and John, who have much to say about the all important ministry of Christ.

A favorite verse would be: “So have no fear of them (persecutors), for nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (Matt 10:26-28, ESV)

If you can live your life under such security that nothing in your life is hidden, but all is exposed, then you don’t have to fear what someone will think of you. Either that your life is full of darkness or full of light light will be self evident. I have made my life open to all.

I anticipate both working with and for Alpha in the future, if it is God’s will. I would very much like to be part of a ministry like yours, to be helping others to bring their lives in line with Christ.

I believe in the work that you are doing. Alpha House and your prison ministry are very important, and have a great impact for the men in these prisons. It has had a great impact on me—both as a disciple, and a discipler for Alpha Ministries. Never quit. Always be encouraged in the Lord Jesus.

Doug — Originally published (in shorter form) in April 2018