What an Awesome God I Serve!
I lived 25 of my 43 years behind the walls and fences of the prison system of Michigan. But my life didn’t start out on the hard streets. I can point to no hungry nights, bad neighborhoods, or anything of that sort, and in fact, my early years were spent living in an affluent neighborhood where the biggest problem was me.
At the age of 12, I started running away from home because I didn’t like living by any rules. I slept in tents and broke into houses and schools in order to feed myself. It wasn’t long before I found myself in the juvenile home, which actually became my home away from home. Every time I was let out of juvenile home, it wouldn’t be long before I was truant from my home. My truancy from home and my criminal behavior resulted in my being sent to several state facilities. I was sent to these facilities to be rehabilitated. However, the people I met there only prompted me on in the way I was going.
At the age of 16, I was arrested for breaking and entering while on escape from Boys Training School. In normal situations I would have been taken back to juvenile home, but instead was jailed and charged as an adult. Four months later I was in Jackson Prison. Strangely enough, I found that I liked the prison setting because it gave me the chance to be as mean as I wanted to be and people would respect me.
Two years later I was released on parole, but was returned to prison within thirty days for robbery. It didn’t matter to me because everything I wanted was in prison…all my friends, the crime, and all the other trappings of convict life. This cycle went on for two decades, and through it all, I only learned to distrust and hate.
In 1998 I was sent to maximum security for being the leader of the white supremacist group known as the Aryan Brotherhood. While at maximum security, I was actively suing the prison system for racial discrimination against whites and religious discrimination against Christian Identity adherents who were not allowed to openly proclaim their beliefs, which were openly hostile to other nationalities and races.
It was in the midst of all this hatred and racism that the Spirit of Truth started dealing with my heart and mind. I began to see the error of my ways and how far I was away from God. Slowly, he moved into my life as I found myself surrendering more and more to him. Then on December 18, 1998, I surrendered all to Jesus Christ and founded my commitment to him in Job 14:13, “Whether God himself slay me, I will still trust in the Lord.”
My life since then has so drastically changed that I have a hard time seeing myself as that hate monger or the same person who did all those years in prison. God has so blessed my life that I honestly question him as to why. But he always reminds me that it is not by my actions that I receive his blessings, but rather by his choice. I know that I serve the God who loved me so much that he sent his only begotten Son to die for me so that he could have fellowship with me! What an awesome God he is!
Billy — Originally published in January 2003
